My personal struggle with weight isn't something I have shared with many people. Everyone I know has been a witness to it, but it's not something that I talk about much. I have always been very active, I love the outdoors, and am actually pretty happy in a gym. I ran cross country and track in high school. I was a size 1 my senior year. I kept pretty busy and lived off of bagels and cream cheese from either the school cafeteria or I Love Bagels down the road. Even then, I was a bit self conscience, surrounded by the blonde and the beautiful in my beach hometown of Dana Point. Life was too busy to really worry about it though. After graduation I moved out, and like all college kids began eating foods that were 10 for $10 or took less than a minute to microwave. What did I know about food, other than it cost lots of my hard earned money, so I better buy cheap!! Tina's burritos, mac and cheese, and yes...even ramen noodles (dude, I LOVED that shrimp flavor!) Starbucks started showing up all over the place, and then I added that regular stop to my commute! My jobs were always in corporate offices, the land of potlucks and birthday cake! My food choices were a disaster. Then...the boyfriend. I fell in love. We went out to eat ALL the time, made our rounds at college parties, and stayed up late eating junk food. Did I mention that at this point I had a job with a beer distributor, and I could drink for free all over town?! Ok, so you are starting to see the pattern. I didn't pay attention to what I was eating, and I started gaining weight.

Then I found out I was pregnant!
Disclaimer: eating junk food does not lead to an unplanned pregnancy!
Eight years ago my food choices took a turn for the worse. Cravings, Mood Swings, Wedding Planning. This was me at my heaviest, my wedding dress was as size 22. I will never forget that number.

There was some weight loss after wedded bliss. It was tough. I was able to drop about 45 lbs with the help of Weight Watchers and a personal trainer. I never went back to above 200 lbs. Wow, that's a big number, I know. I was determined to keep going to the gym and keep lowering that number. A few more years down the road we decide to try for baby #2. Pregnant again, with cravings, mood swings, and still not much of a connection with what I was eating. I thought: I was healthy, big boned, and going in the right direction.

Here's the thing, exercise wasn't my problem. I could run all day and take every fitness/music class offered at the gym, and this weight wasn't going to come off. My problem was and IS the food.

My food journey takes it's biggest turn here. A giant u-turn! I learned what healthy food really was. Thank you Michael Pollan, Food Inc., and Super Baby Food. These three sources of information really opened my eyes as to what was going on. I learned about food miles, pesticides, and fake ingredients.

Life changing advice #1: Eat REAL food, mostly plants ~ Michael Pollan
Life changing advice #2: When you know better, you do better~ Maya Angelou

And that is exactly what I did. I started cooking from scratch, making Charlie's baby food was such an education. In raw foods, preparation, and flavor. There were veggies I had never tried before that I was now feeding to my baby. Of course, I tried them...and really liked them! As a family we joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture), started shopping at farmers markets, and started our home garden. I was really inspired to shop for local foods, and eventually stopped buying any produce from foreign markets, strictly shopping 'in season'. It's an incredible feeling, knowing where your food really comes from. Knowing how it was grown, what it will taste like, and that no harm will come to your family because of it. Preservatives, dyes, and GMO's are not to be taken lightly. My family and I would describe ourselves as anything BUT deprived! We were eating the best and cleanest we ever had!

So I took it to the next level. A good friend of mine introduced this crazy diet/ cleanse last summer. It's called the Whole 30. For 30 days you eat only the whole-est of foods. Well, that sounded perfect! I was up for the challenge! No processed foods, no sugar, no dairy, no grains, no legumes, no corn or potatoes. What?!! What was this?! What would I eat? Well, I would eat vegetables, fruits, healthy meats, and healthy fats/nuts. The food our ancestors ate. Really? and this was healthier? I was up for it. The science behind it was solid. There was a HUGE community of these primal/ paleo lifestyle fanatics! This is what I discovered, there weren't many 'half ass' 'paleo peeps'. They are hard core and go all the way. I loved it! After 30 days, guess what? I felt fantastic! I had lost a ridiculous amount of weight and didn't ever remember being hungry or deprived. Ah, this is where the clouds parted and the light shines through and I realize this is it. This was the answer to my health problems. I had a dairy intolerance that could no longer be ignored, grains and legumes were empty calories, that I could substitue with healthier portions of veggies.  And having been without sweets for a month, I was finally freed of my addiction to sugar. I am so grateful to have found my answer. My body NEEDS the cleanest and healthiest foods, and in return it gives me energy to keep up with my children and peace. Sure, there are A LOT of dishes to wash, but dinnertime with my family isn't rushed. It's a conversation about health, flavors, and food. My boys will be raised with a healthy view on life, their food, and their bodies. Someday they will find themselves in college....and I can hope!, that instead of reaching for the ramen or burrito they will grab their sauté pan, some coconut oil, and fry up an egg with some sweet potato hash! (inside paleo joke...) They LOVE food. REAL foods. They can smell the sourness of processed junk and can appreciate a freshly picked tomato. I have done good, I am doing good.

I am 14 sizes smaller, 97 lbs lighter, and 10 years older. I love sweet potatoes, macadamia nuts, and cooking with bacon fat. I don't eat sandwiches for lunch, but instead leftovers of curry beef roast. I eat my burgers wrapped in lettuce. I look forward to each season and know my favorite foods are ripening just down the road. Grapes in the summer and tomatoes in the fall. $5 for a bag of organic local lettuce doesn't scare me anymore. Getting to the market too late does!

I share this because I hadn't before. My journey is not a unique one. I have read hundreds of stories of food journeys just like mine. It's my time to share, and hopefully pass on some words of wisdom or a shared thought that will bring someone else comfort. Diets are different for everyone. They should be. We are not all the same.

Eat what feels good and what tastes good. When you know better, you do better.

Ok, I have shared enough. It's time for lunch!